Helping Your Child Foster Good Friendships

Friendship is the building block on which our children’s social skills are built and the space where kids begin to understand who they are. As parents and caregivers, we have an amazing opportunity to help our children form these relationships...from facilitating “play dates” when they’re young to being the "hangout house" as they grow older.

As tempting as it might be to step in and keep unhealthy friendships or groups out of our children’s lives by forbidding them to see or talk to certain people, it’s important to remember that kids can learn as much from bad friendships as they can from good ones. Encourage kids in unhealthy relationships to examine what exactly makes the friendship unhealthy and ask them why they may want to leave the relationship when they see it for what it is. Of course, if your child is in danger you have a responsibility to protect them, but allowing them to have their own experiences will help them grow into adults with wisdom and discernment about who they choose as their friends. You can encourage your kids to choose their friends wisely by having regular conversations.

Here are some conversation starters:

• What makes a good friend?

• Who do you know is a good friend to others?

• What makes a bad friend?

• Have you had any bad friendships?

• Why do you like the friends you have?

• Do your friends support you?

• Do your friends tell you the truth?

• What do you have in common?

• What are some of your differences?

• Do you have any boundaries with your friends? Do you need to set any?

According to the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, being connected to people offers various forms of health benefits. Friendship not only physiologically matters, it's also essential to our emotional and mental development. Who knew friendships did all this?!

The Importance of Friendship

• Kids can be themselves around friends in a way that they can't around their parents, which allows for the healthy development of self-awareness and a sense of identity.

• Friendships allow children to develop positive feelings about themselves while also learning essential life skills such as trust, communication, consistency, and resilience.

• Friendships provide a safe space for conflict management and help kids learn how to express themselves.

• Friendships help to cure loneliness.