5 Key Conversations to Have With Your Child About Drinking

Alarming statistic - 90% of addictions start in the high school years. Additionally, 1 in 4 who began using substances before age 18 have an addiction, compared to 1 in 25 who began at age 21 or older. (Drugfree.org)

While underage drinking is often primarily associated with car accidents, drug use, partying, and/or legal trouble, Gen Z is susceptible to additional dangers that we, as parents, might not be thinking of. As an unprecedented number of teens are struggling with anxiety, depression, and loneliness, more and more of them are using alcohol not to have fun, but to cope with and escape from those feelings. Because these emotions are something we all face throughout our lives, developing a habit of dealing with them by drinking can have longer-lasting consequences than social drinking.

Here are 5 key conversations to have with your child about drinking.

#1 The effects of alcohol:

Because curiosity is one of the primary reasons teens drink, we encourage you to have a detailed conversation with your child about what kind of substance alcohol is and how it affects the body.

Explain to your child that alcohol is a depressant that slows the function of one’s central nervous system, blocking some of the messages trying to get to the brain and altering one’s perceptions, emotions, movement, vision, and hearing.

Be honest with them, letting them know that while alcohol can initially have a calming effect, the more you drink, the more out of control you become and that if you drink too much, you can become violently sick and be at risk for alcohol poisoning.

#2 The short and long-term risks of drinking:

Make sure your child knows the risks of drinking alcohol as a teen, such as the consequences of poor decisions while inebriated, injury from dangerous activities, or even death from accidents or alcohol poisoning. share how beginning to use alcohol early in life can create long-term consequences, and how it could derail them from creating the life they desire as adults.

It might be hard to imagine, but we are all just one poor decision away from significantly altering the trajectory of our lives, and alcohol can increase the chances of making that decision. Remember that your conversations with the child in your care don’t just need to be filled with what not to do. They must also be filled with what they should do and what kind of future they want to create.

Kids who have goals and understand that alcohol can cause them to not perform well in school or athletics or could cause them to have health problems in the future are less likely to drink.

#3 History of substance abuse in the family:

This step may be uncomfortable or even feel embarrassing, but your kid needs to know if they are predisposed to alcohol addiction due to family history. Kids who have a history of alcohol or other substance use disorders in their family have an increased risk of developing alcohol or other drug-related problems themselves. Often times, knowing the history of alcoholism in the family is the most significant factor in waiting to drink and sticking to a one-drink limit as an adult.

#4 How to engage emotions healthily:

Since research reveals that teens use binge drinking as a means to cope with stress, depression, and loneliness, as parents and caring adults we need to provide those in our care with adequate coaching on how to navigate heavy and complex emotions. We also need to give them viable outlets to cope with stress, like journaling, running, or talking to a trusting adult or friend.

In some cases, we may even need to seek the professional help of a therapist. To support and coach your children in engaging with their emotions, you first have to know how to engage your own feelings well. You can only give what you have.

Make sure you are getting the support you need to navigate your emotional world so that you can help your children navigate theirs. Remember, you are the most significant influence in their life.

#5 When to ask for help:

Because underage drinking is illegal, many teens will not come to an adult for help when they need it. Assure your child that even when they find themselves in a situation they know you would disapprove of, they can always call on you for help.

A huge impact of alcohol is the way it increases risk-taking behavior, something teens are already prone to. Drinking can put teens in physical danger, from driving under the influence to taking drugs to being sexually assaulted. If a teen feels like they aren’t safe sharing their mistakes with you, there’s a possibility that they’ll press deeper into the very thing that’s hurting them.

Make sure your teen knows that even though you’d prefer them not to drink, they will never get in trouble if they come to you and say that they need help. Whether that’s because they went to a party they knew they shouldn’t have, something happened to them while they were intoxicated, or because they think they might be developing an addiction, assure your teen that you are there to walk with them with love and without judgment.

Additional Resources:

SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

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